Revenge Story (You all asked)

"Long_Voyager, Now With More Caravanny Goodness" (long-voyager-2nd-edition) 05/30/2019 at 10:20 • Filed to: Revenge

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So I made a comment about my neighbor’s ex wife and getting revenge.

Here’s the story:

I’m always good about talking with my neighbors before I bring home a donor car, so I went around and talked to everyone before bringing home a Lebaron convertible for a parts donor. Everyone said it was totally cool. Great!

I get the car and park it behind my garage for a couple days until I can get it in the garage. The day I’m going to pull it in the garage the town cop stops by, starts asking about the car. I tell him I’m just stripping it for parts then it’ll be gone, a week tops. He tells me a neighbor complained about it sitting there, nods his head in their direction, then gives me a 14 day removal notice.

So I strip the car that night, then shove it onto the giant snow pile facing the neighbor’s house. For the next 13.5 days it sits on that snow pile staring directly into her kitchen window. Meanwhile I made a game of starting my then open headered car around 11 pm every night ( knowing she had to get up at 2 am for work ), making just enough noise to ensure her bedroom light snapped on, then shutting it down and going to bed.

Of course she tried calling the cops on both these actions, but the cop told her I had X days to remove it and they cannot tell me where to park it. He also told her without proof I was doing the revving, they could not do anything.

So 13.5 days later, I had the car removed and almost had my car back together. I finished the car at 1 am the next morning, so it seemed the perfect time to take it for a rip, again watching her light snap on as I left the driveway. My other neighbor who had been helping noticed the cop drive by in the direction I went, so he called me and told me to make the loop. So I looped around, snuck back into the garage, shut the doors, and went to bed after disconnecting my distributor.

That morning, the cop is at my door, because she called again. He starts asking about last night. I told him it couldn’t have been me as I wasn’t able to get the car running last night, then take him to the garage to prove it. Crank and crank and crank, nothing. He says “well, probably plug that distributor in and it’ll fire”. I just look at him blankly, he says “Trust me, I know what’s going on here, good luck getting it running”, winks and walks back to his car.

A few days later, she moved out.

All the other neighbors were involved in what was going on, so they all were cool with what I was doing, NO ONE could stand her, I was just the first to actually stand up to her. I am generally very respectful of my neighbors, done wrenching before 9 every night, always asking/discussing before doing things that I think may bother someone.

!!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!!

I like cars: Jim Spanfeller is one ugly motherfucker > Long_Voyager, Now With More Caravanny Goodness 05/30/2019 at 10:26

8

That’s the pettiest thing I’ve ever read. Glorious.

vondon302 > Long_Voyager, Now With More Caravanny Goodness 05/30/2019 at 10:29

4

Well done.

Golf clap gif

Arrivederci > Long_Voyager, Now With More Caravanny Goodness 05/30/2019 at 10:33

2

Ahaha... that’s awesome!  Fortunately I haven’t discovered any immediate neighbors that are assholes, but there are plenty in my neighborhood if Nextdoor is any indication.  

i86hotdogs > Long_Voyager, Now With More Caravanny Goodness 05/30/2019 at 10:36

8

Stories like this are what bring a smile to my face.

I lived in a house with fi ve other football players in college. It wasn’t in a student heavy neighborhood, families all around us; but the rent was cheap, and walking distance to everything we needed.

We were respectful to the neighborhood, lights out by curfew, no social gatherings spilling outside, never had a noise complaint . But we shared a driveway with one neighbor. I forget his real name, but we called him “ Stanzie” . Stanzie was your typical grumpy old man. He often complained to cops about the amount of cars parked in the backyard lot. There were paved parking spots for up to 7 vehicles, plus a two car garage (which we converted into a place to lift weights) . We never had more than 6 cars parked, and never blocked the shared driveway.

His most petty complaint was our location of our garbage cans. We had them sitting on our property on the side of the house facing his house. There was a side door where the garbage inside resided. He complained that he would have to wake up and look at that “ eyesore of garbage cans, and ruin his morning ” , and asked us to move them to the back. After months of this, he called our landlord, w hom replied that we are doing nothing wrong. So the college kids in us got petty. We stacked our trash as high as possible. We never took it up front for months. He called the cops, and cops said as long as our trash is on our property, there is nothing they can do. We even put a light facing the pile so Stanzie could see it at night.

I wonder what Stanzie is up to these days.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Long_Voyager, Now With More Caravanny Goodness 05/30/2019 at 10:38

4

I mean... just because you really don’t like someone, doesn’t mean you it’s okay to fuck with their sleep. Neighbor wars sound terrible. So much time and  energy.

Sovande > Long_Voyager, Now With More Caravanny Goodness 05/30/2019 at 11:05

2

I had neighbors complaining that I was “monopolizing parking spots” in front of my condo - the parking is first come, first serve. I would get a notice from management once a day about it.  I told them that I would be happy to move things if everyone else was held to the same standard.  They also got mad that I have three cars so they complained about that too. I then began to start my El Camino every morning when I get up at 4:45am. I’d leave it running with the choke engaged so it would idle at about 1300 rpms while I took a shower. It’s not the loudest car, but the exhaust is definitely loud.

I didn’t hear another word about the cars after about a week.  I did, however, get yelled at this weekend after I spun the tires leaving the lot.  Killjoys.

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > Long_Voyager, Now With More Caravanny Goodness 05/30/2019 at 11:16

1

r/revenge

Dru > Long_Voyager, Now With More Caravanny Goodness 05/30/2019 at 11:19

0

That, honestly sounds like an awful thing to deal with. If anything, I am the fuddy duddy neighbor, but I seldom report anything. Because our neighborhood was started pre-recession, development stalled and the builder went belly up.  Then post recession another builder bought what remained and finished the neighborhood.  Because of this weird situation, the neighbors to my left are not part of our HOA, since it formed after their house had been there for years, they literally didn’t have to join.  As such, they don’t have to abide the rules.  They are mostly fine, if a little trashy.  Biggest issue I run into is people’s kids running amok through my yard.  I have no issue with kids passing through to get to another house, but we have caught kids literally laying in our driveway under a car.  Fortunately when confronted, their parents sided with us that that is not okay. 

CaptDale - is secretly British > Long_Voyager, Now With More Caravanny Goodness 05/30/2019 at 11:25

4

This is an amazing story! Thank you

CaptDale - is secretly British > i86hotdogs 05/30/2019 at 11:25

2

I love this. Good people getting crapped on sucks. 

HondoyotaE38: A Japanese and German Collab...wait a minute > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 05/30/2019 at 11:53

0

imagine having a whole neighborhood/community in on a plot to annoy and troll you out of the place ... that’d suck.

._.

Long_Voyager, Now With More Caravanny Goodness > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 05/30/2019 at 12:04

1

In my defense, they would regularly hold parties lasting until 2-3 am on nights I had to be up for work, I never once complained.

When you tell me it’s totally cool for me to do something, then call the cops about said thing the next day, I may get a little petty.

I mean, just because you want to be a nosey twat doesn’t mean it’s ok to mess with someone else’s livelihood...  

Long_Voyager, Now With More Caravanny Goodness > i86hotdogs 05/30/2019 at 12:05

1

That is awesome.

Long_Voyager, Now With More Caravanny Goodness > Arrivederci 05/30/2019 at 12:06

2

She was the only one I had an issue with. She moved out and they divorced and things have been great since. Her “ex” ( who still lives there ) and I still get a laugh out of that on occasion.  

Fuckkinja > Long_Voyager, Now With More Caravanny Goodness 05/30/2019 at 12:24

3

Neighbor wars suck. I had that neighbor also. The only way I could think of legal retaliation was to wage botanical warfare. I planted running bamboo on my side of the fence and hybrid poplar on top of his sewer line. He will never be able  kill the bamboo. The best part is we moved out and my plan will continue to torment that jerk for years.

Where have all the lightweights gone? > Long_Voyager, Now With More Caravanny Goodness 05/30/2019 at 15:11

3

This isn’t necessarily a revenge story, but it’s definitely an entertaining one involving an asshole neighbor.

There was a vacant lot next to my parents’ house, and a retired prison guard bought the property. His intention was to build a house for his dad. What he didn’t realize in this whole process was “building a house is hard”.

It started when he asked my parents if he could bring a truck in to offload some equipment to clear the brush and trees on the lot. My parents thought it would be a pickup and a small Bobcat, but that meant “dump truck and bulldozer”. The weight of this vehicular combination killed the roots on a couple of my parents’ trees, and they refused to provide compensation for killing a tree that had been there for decades. T hus ended any sort of goodwill extended to them.

During the building process, they attempted using other neighbors’ water and electricity, only to be told by each homeowner to stay off their property. This infuriated the former prison guard, knowing damn well it’s going to cost him more money to build. It only gets better from here.

As the house progressed, the prison guard started to complain to the village about my parents’ house being in violation of whatever code he could dig up. Each time the village showed up it was him who got nicked for new violations! This ended up for months until the house was finally built.

Once the house was complete, prison guard’s dad never moved in. He put it on the market, and my parents have had wonderful neighbors ever since.

OPPOsaurus WRX > Long_Voyager, Now With More Caravanny Goodness 05/31/2019 at 16:19

1

if i were you i would have been standing in the driveway with a stop watch not allowing the tow truck to leave until the watch said 13h59m59s

VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely > Long_Voyager, Now With More Caravanny Goodness 05/31/2019 at 16:50

1

I really like that cop. 

Chariotoflove > Long_Voyager, Now With More Caravanny Goodness 05/31/2019 at 18:20

1

My parents have a neighbor like this.  I am enjoying this story as I think of her.  Well done, Amigo.

Chariotoflove > Fuckkinja 05/31/2019 at 18:24

1

I know how bamboo works. You are evil.

Long_Voyager, Now With More Caravanny Goodness > VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely 06/03/2019 at 07:01

0

He’s been the town cop for over a decade, so he knows who have legitimate complaints and who is just being a PITA for their neighbors, so he treats it as such.